This Is My Story of My First Love. Finale

Hai kau,

(Bunyi cam gampang kasar hahaha)

Right at this moment,

We still have 13hours left untuk bersama.

13hours left tuk cakap apa yang masih terbuku kat hati

13hours left tuk fight, kalau kudrat tu masih ada.

Bukan niat aku nak hilang dan pergi

Aku cuma nak kau tahu

Takde manusia normal 

yang dah terluka tapi masih nak stay

Ok mungkin aku je la camtu

Tapi memang taklah aku masih nak ngadap

Apa aku dapat? 

Apa kau dapat?

Apa kita dapat?

Kenapa aku masih dekat sini?

1. Aku pernah lepaskan kau, dan aku menyesal.

Aku taknak ulangi penyesalan aku.

Cz lfe's too short to be unhappy.

2. Aku tanak kau terus rosak, titik

3. Aku dah tak boleh pikir, 

Sebab aku bakal hilang kau.

Aku sekarang ni, bukan tengok kau je buat aku sebak

Tengok married couple lain,

Soon to be married couple lain pun aku sebak

Sebab....

They look sooo good together loving each other.

Tapi kenapa aku dipisahkan pulak.

Kenapa aku nak kena korban camni plak.

Kenapa aku nak kena tutup apa aku rasa plak.

Kenapa aku nak kena lepaskan pulak.

Hahahahaha haramJ

Aku ulang balik,

Aku mungkin ujian tuk kau yang berdarah manis,

Atau memang ada sebab kita ditemukan balik.

Bukan sekejap gak kita kawan balik tau. 

Lebih kurang 2tahun juga kau contact aku balik

Dan lebih kurang setahun setengah kita rapat balik.

Time tu, kau belum berdarah manis lagi tau.

Aku tak tau lah.

Hati aku.. Memang tak kasi lepas.

Aku jadi geram plak bila kata dah ok 

Tapi hakikat masih rasa tak sedap hati.

Aku dah becakap dgn kau,

End up tiada penyelesaian.

Aku berbalik dekat Tuhan je.

Kau dan masalah kau, aku harap Tuhan jaga.

Sebab kalau bukan Dia yang gerakkan hati kau,

Siapa lagi?

Aku tau sayang tak semestinya memiliki,

So aku akan sayang dan jaga kau dari jauh.

Tak pernah betul aku pasrah and serahkan 

100% dekat Tuhan cmni.

Aku takut.

Tipu lah aku tak takut.

Tapi aku percaya..

Aku percaya kalau dah tertulis, tak kemana..

Apa yg ada dekat kau sampai semua org syg dekat kau?

Tapi kau pulak yg tak sayang diri sndr 

(Cerita pasak benda lain pulak ni)

Kau jangan aku dapat tau kau makin rosak,

Aku carik kau sampai lubang cacing. 

 Kau paham tak? Jangan main2 dgn aku. Haha

I'll be fine. 

Dah. Bye. Ngantuk gila.

Aku jumpa kau dalam mimpi je pasni. Singgah la selalu.

Hahahahahahaa

So This Is My Story of My First Love. Part 6

Dear Peter,

I'm not used to make a guy cry, 

Tidak pernah juga aku rasa ada lelaki yang menangis untuk aku.

Tapi bila tengok kau mengalir air mata.

Tak tahulah air mata acah acah atau air mata betul.

Aku automatic pujuk, walaupun aku tau yang lagi sakit tu sebenarnya aku

Kenapalah kau ni mi..

Pikir hati sendiri boleh tak pikir hati sendiri?

Tak sedar, I've been crying for a month now. The whole January.

Tak pasti kenapa, sakit dia pun lain macam juga.

Dulu aku baca To All The Boys I've Loved Before,

Menangis aku.

Dulu aku baca The Time Traveller's Wife, 

Menangis aku.

Aku tengok 13 Going on 30,

Menangis aku.

Aku tengok 500 Days of Summer,

Menangis aku.

Aku tengok 17 Again,

Menangis aku.
Aku tengok MV The One That Got Away si Katy Perry,
Menangis aku.

Aku dengar The Chainsmokers yang main EDM tu pun,

Menangis aku.

Aku dengar The Smiths,

Menangis aku.

Ah, lagu tapayah nak senarai la sampai tahun depan tak habis.

Kau tau tak kau,

Aku ada impian yang kalau kau jadi sebahagian dari aku,

Aku nak asing macam macam bilik dekat rumah kita.

Ada satu tu, bilik nak mengaji.

Pastu, ada bilik bacaan yang penuh dengan buku buku aku.

Lepas tu, bilik untuk studio muzik aku.

Ada gitar, ada piano, ada drum,
ada ukulele aku yang berbagai warna & size.

I could teach our kids main music, mengaji, baca buku dekat library rumah kita.

Dah kalau macam ni ceritanya, 

Takdelah kan.

Damn apa jenis angan angan ni.

Aku tengah pujuk hati aku tengah pujuk hati aku tengah pujuk hati..

So This Is My Story of My First Love. Part 5

For your record dear Peter,

I started writing this on Sunday, 31 January 2015, 8.10am.

I woke up to I dont know what. 

I couldn't sleep safe and sound last night like I used to.

Not sure sebab sakit, or just missing you so bad.

I thought I'm gonna be okay. I'm sure that I'm gonna be okay, positive.

But kenapa aku rasa macam ni.

Mungkin sebab semalam aku nak pegi food festival tapi tak kesampaian haha

Okay.

Kawan kawan aku, cousin aku, semua kata I'm gonna be fine.

Aku pun kata dekat diri sendiri yang I'm gonna be fine.

But I'm not.

I don't know.

Siapa tak suka ingat zaman muda muda. 

Semua org suka bahan zaman muda muda, zaman hingusan

Zaman semua benda masih manis tanpa risiko tanpa stress

Tapi aku, zaman muda muda aku penuh dengan kau,

It hurts when I remembered it.

Takkan aku nak buang semua memori tu ke tong sampah? 

Dah macam buang separuh otak aku. 

Baik tak payah hidup terus kalau macam tu

Okay, tak.

Weh kau, kawan kawan aku cukup tak suka dekat kau.

Sebab kau masih kawan dengan aku lebih dari biasa 

Tapi kau tak pilih nak hidup dengan aku.

Kawan kawan aku cukup angin dengan kau.

Kalau diorang dapat jumpa kau memang kau kena weh.

Belum lagi kalau diorang tahu aku pun masih jumpa kau,

Sat lagi diorang lanyak aku dengan steamroll haha

Aku bukan apa.

Aku tak nak, tapi..

Kenapa ek, I just can't get enough of u.

Aku rasa cam tak nak je bagi kau lepas. 

Sama je rasanya macam zaman kita sekolah dulu.

Rasa macam kalau kecik aku nak masukkan dalam poket.

Kau pun rasa camtu kan. You just can't get enough of me.

Tapi kenapa..

Aku tak nampak orang lain.. Damn..

Yelah ada sorang tu kata. Aku ni ujian untuk kau. Sebab kau nak kahwin..

Apa lah salah aku..

Salah la.. Apa masalah kau mi.

Barang kau masih banyak dalam rumah ni,

Gambar kau masih aku tak keluarkan dari frame even dah 10 tahun.

Aku fikir nanti kalau kau dah jadi sebahagian dari aku,

Kita boleh gelak sakan tengok memori zaman muda kita.

Tapi kau takkan ada.

Aku fikir kalau kau jadi sebahagian dari aku,

Aku boleh install layar cinema & subscribe netflix dekat rumah, 

kita boleh tengok movie sampai lebam, walaupun kau kerja sabtu ahad.

Aku boleh beli playstation dengan pc berkuasa tinggi,

Supaya aku boleh main deadpool dengan kau.

Ye planning macam budak budak.

Tapi kita kenal pun dari kita budak budak kan.

Semua tu memori.

Semua tu kalau aku dapat sambung dan aku jadi aku,

Bukan orang berprotokol yang aku jadi skrg ni,

Aku tau aku akan happy.

Tapi.. Kau takkan ada.

Buku yang aku cerita kat kau, Landline tu.

Yang pasal dia dapat call balik suami dia waktu suami dia muda tu,

Aku tau tu fiksyen je, kita ni realiti.

Tapi kalau aku dapat peluang macam tu,

Aku torn sama ada aku nak putar balik masa 

Untuk tak tolak kau waktu aku umur 19tahun dulu,

Atau patah balik masa untuk tak nak kenal langsung dengan kau

10 tahun yang dulu.

Aku sakit weh.. Aku sakit aku tak tau nak cakap camne.

Aku okay je, tak tipu aku okay yang kita dah habis.

Tapi kenapa kau datang balik waktu kau habis training ke apa tu

Yang kau dah boleh pegang telepon balik tu. Tahun 2013 tu

Yang waktu aku praktikal training setiap petang kau tanya aku

'Hantaran berapa mi, hantaran berapa mi'

Kau mesti tak ingat. Haramj betul.

Tah la aku pun malas nak ingat.

Separuh entry ni aku mengarang sambil berjujuran air mata,

The latter aku dah tak menangis. Sebab aku tau aku kuat, 

Cuma aku lambat sikit lah. Kau first love kan.

Kuaja.

Haritu aku dah malas nak mengarang pasal kau my love. 

Tapi tah. Banyak lagi benda aku nak cakap sebelum bulan 4 ni.

So aku akan keep mengarang.

May the force be with me. Kau, tak payah. Hahaha

Aku mintak maaf sebab tolak kau dulu. Kalau aku dapat patah balik masa aku tampar aku yang dulu tu :'(

So This Is My Story of My First Love Part 4

Hi.

Well I thought I'm gonna stop writing about him 

Since he's getting married, but...

It's unexplainable. Seriously..

I don't think I'm able to refresh back all the past memories

Actually I can, but I choose not to.

Cz it hurts. It really hurts..

For today's entry, nothing much.

Just a freaking song for him

Like i dont know why it suits him. 

Suit my current feeling too. Or whatever you might say.

Siapa yang kenal aku tau, aku bukan jenis dengar lagu melayu.

Ni kan pula lagu rock kapak.

Tapi aku taktau lah kenapa semenjak dua menjak ni

Lagu lagu ni lah yang aku pasang waktu kerja.

Ok lah.

Sorry Peter, I could not unloved you.

But I hope you're really happy.

I hope I'll stay cool. 

Tho I know for sure that I'm not.

Bye now.

*************************************************************

Kau umpama bunga

yang mekar di hatiku

Ku harap kau mekarlah

selama-lamanya

Kau umpama bintang

menyinari hidupku

Ku harap kau

terus bersinar

Di ketika kau

Perlukan aku

Sentiasa aku

Ada di sisimu

Di ketika

Rindu padamu

Terasa cinta

Semakin dalam

Sayang

Kasihku abadi

Cintamu mekar

Di hati ini

Kau dalam ingatan

Di sepanjang hayatku

Demi teguhnya cinta

Selama-lamanya 

P/S: Aku harap rasa ni hilang. Hilang. Hilang. Hilang. Hilang. Hilang. Hilang. Hilang.

Because he's my own kinda King

Do you know?

I keep having u in my dreams lately

U wouldn't know how much i try to avoid and forget u

But u still come in my dreams nway

I dunno whats wrong with me

I feel this weird feeling of wanting u back

Even tho i know that we are not good for each other

Lately u dont really care about me

I dunno why maybe u realize that i'm nothing to u

Or maybe u realize that i am just a dust in one of ur books

It hurts, u know. 

Wanting u back, but getting no responses out of u

I wanna forget u

Pls let me forget u

I know we can be cool as friends

I want us to be friends too

But i dunno what's this feelings i'm having

I need to get rid of it i really do

And by getting rid of it

I need to get rid of u

I love u so much why cant i have u back?

I hope in another 10 years, i'll be laughing out loud to this entry.

And in another 10 years, i hope that i already met my soulmate.

Pls.

So This Is My Story of My First Love. Part 2

So this is the part 2 of 'This is my story of my first love'.

about the guy name Peter, my first love, obviously.

I know u don't care. Go read something else then. 

ehem.

So i guess its been a month now since the part 1 was published.

funny that the feelings come lingers back

at totally the same date of the month. 

okay.

its not that i'm not moving on. i do.

i just don't know why it doesn't fade off. 

for burger's sake we're not an item anymore for more than 9 years

 i cant explain this situation. whatever. don't know don't care.

ok to start off back from where i left before..

i remember that we always go on a groupdate at Midvalley 

back in 2006 and sometimes,

if bosan, we went to Sunway Pyramid once in a while.

I remembered that if we went to Pyramid,

the food there wasn't really affordable

so we were (i were) forced to eat at this i dunno what kedai (??)

at groundfloor level that sell this cheap nasi lemak.

I used to throw away all the nuts and cucumbers

(i still dont eat those kacang tanah or whatever kacang that is)

but i remembered that Peter, for some reason, 

hate that i don't eat the cucumbers.

so he forced me to eat it like how mommas usually do. 

Scary, unpleasant and controlling kinda way.

and because of that, i never miss eating my cucumbers til now.

lame, i know. moving on.

 Back then my family was really controlling 

my curfew was 7pm everyday.

it sucks that i'm having fun but because of me,

everybody needs to get back home at 6pm.

and the saddest thing was, i am the oldest in the groupdate.

i dunno, maybe Peter thought that i was boring back then.

i am no fun like other girls ya know.

i dont feel good back then but to think about it,

my parents just want the best for me and i'm ok with it now.

i used to be so stupid

buying all this sorts of things for him

i don't know how to make people happy

i just buy people with money i guess 

biasanya if orang dah dibiasakan dgn duit,

they might not gonna love u for u, right?

when i think about it now, it is kinda a mystery for me,

did he really love me that long?

did he not having affair at my back?

i was 16 and he was 15. 

he's famous and all the juniors had eyes on him.

what did i expect? why do i have to be crazily in love like that?

it is stupid and crazy,

to love a person who are so fishy like that

and i thought that now, it will never happen again.

wrong, girl. it did. it happen again

u are crazily in love once again with him

and u don't even know why.

sucks ball.

to tell u the truth Peter, 

i miss the old u. the 15 year old Peter.

who used to play the guitar and sing to me.

who used to made all this handmade stuff 

because u couldn't afford to buy anything for me.

its not converse, roxy or nike, but I like it anyway.

Stay with me, cause i need u. 

even after all this time.

I was crazy over sinetron 'Liontin' dulu
and I want the same locket as them thus,
the ancient 2006 locket yg dah berkarat. oh well.

to be continued... again...

This is my starting point. What's yours?

So the other day, I was checking my draft entries, 

and I found this.

Memang aku rasa nak cepuk je bahasa budak ni

dah lah urdu. pastu cam acah bagus je tanak betudung gitu.

cam bagus je only this ramadhan, not ready enuff. puiiii

aku lempang apa pun tak dapat nanti. haha

Yes, that was me. When I was 19 years old.

Tula orang kata nak tulis pape lain kali pikir,

Tak pasal pasal yemi umur 25 tahun ni gelimat. hahaha

That annoying Irwansyah, was that lovable ex.

lovable lah sangat.

Tapi kalau bukan pasal dia, aku mungkin tak bertudung.

Well, not really. Kawan-kawan aku yang lebih encourage aku.

but, yeah, he's one of those people anyway.

So, it is weird but fascinating.

You can never guess bila hidayah tu akan datang.

How it will come, how it will happen

and through whom Allah will let it goes to you.

When it comes, it comes. 

Cherish the moment and take the opportunity to change.

Sekian, dari ustajah Yemi. hahahaha k.

This is my turning point in my Hijrah story.

What about you?

Stay, or not to stay?

Aku tak pasti la sape yang aku pikir time record ni.

aku rasa kau. tapi tah. 

mungkin juga tak. hahahaha

oh my memory.

Yang penting sekarang, ini untuk kau. 

Pergi by Couple from Zizaieleen Jamil on Myspace.

Kawen la cepat wey. 

aku takla nak kau kawen sangat 

sebab nanti hilang lagi sorang kawan aku.

Tapi tah, selagi kau tak kawen.

Rasa ni tak hilang ah. 

Rasa apa?

Tah, tak hilang-hilang dari 2011. 

Letih la mak nak.

Kawen la cepat k. 

Gula Gula Hati

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

What's Wordless Wednesday?

" Wordless Wednesday is a day where bloggers posted images 
without explaining things. 

The image itself will tell the stories. "

Bangla Bawahan

Adala beberapa ketul manusia yang marah,

bila aku kata aku ni bangla bawahan.

bukan apa, dah memang kerja aku cam bangla bawahan 

nak buat camane lagi hahahahaha. k

Tapelah. Budak-budak kontraktor memang camni.

Tula dulu orang suruh amek TESL,

ang dok sebok nak lenskep nak lenskep.

nak jadi arkitek. 

Takpelah.

Arkitek jugak ape aku.

Ilmu construction and materials hujung jari aku je ni.

k tipu.

Ni la dia budak bangla bawahan tu hahaha.
Panas woi, dont judge!! (^, ^  ")

bye.

Kawan.

What do I miss about student life?

FRIENDS.

I miss all of you.. 

So This Is My Story of My First Love. Part 1

WARNING: WHAT YOU ABOUT TO READ MAY FILLED WITH 

INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT THAT MAY RESULTS IN SERIOUS 

DISGUSTING LOOKING FACES THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE

WHILE READING THIS POST. YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISE TO LEAVE, 

BUT, HECK, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT LA. EHH

What if the one that you've been trying to find,

has always been there,

no matter how far u go, how big u become,

You will always find ways to find each other.

Wasn't it fascinating? 

Its like, the one that got away will eventually comes back.

and bring fireworks back to ur life, after all this time.

So this is my story of my first love.

Well, not really my first love, but yeah. 

He's the first guy that I'm serious with, that's how it goes.

So let's call him Peter Kavinsky. 

('cause he's similar to Jenny Han's Peter Kavinsky in so many ways)

We first met when we were in high school.

He was the famous block in the school, famous with girls,

and there I was, unpopular, messy and well, booknerd.

Its always been normal, for an unpopular girl like me,

to like somebody as famous as he was.

Never would I thought that at the end of the day,

He likes me back.

**********

It was one of those fine and calm evening, (but gloomy for me)

I was always grumpy back then, seldomly smile, 

its to the point where other kids called me 'sombong'. heh.

While I was sitting at the corner of a bench,

there he was, asking,

"why so gloomy?"

"and... you are..?" I said in my head. 

Not replying his question anyway.

Days passed and he keeps on asking the same thing,

"why so gloomy?" "why so gloomy?" "why so gloomy?"

but with the addition of,

"I never saw you here before. You new here?"

I just don't get why this boy wont leave me alone, 

so I just went like, 

"Nope, not really. Saja tukar angin. I never exposed myself before."

Gittew kateko

Sorry, cant really remember the details but, 

ever since that conversation,

I kinda like be friends with him.

As far as I know we don't really talk that much.

He's just always there, at the place where I can easily spot him.

That's when I realize how good looking he was.

What he's been thinking, talking to me?

Talking to this grumpy messy and uptight girl.

Kau nak apa dari aku?

He used to say this on one of those days,

"jangan menangis, mata merah biar lama lama tak elok"

I quit crying, ever since then.

Do you still remember that, Peter?

***********

It was April, we went to this camping as a team representing our school.

For the record, I hate campings, I don't do adventurous stuff,

It is so weird, thinking that I joined it voluntarily, tanpa paksaan sesiapa.

While waiting for the bus, camwhore tu mestilah ada.

Back in that time, I was an ignorant kid, 

didn't really alert with anything that happens around me.

but,

In every picture that me and my friends took,

He was always there, beside me.

Like literally beside me. Why wouldn't I realize it?

and.. Why would u sit there beside me in every picture?

You're weird. I thought.

He sits next to me inside the bus, 

he offers me his earphone.

Cant remember the song, but he likes rock kapak songs back then.

In which I don't like it but I still listened to it anyway.

I felt that weird tingling feeling ever since the 'earphone sharing' thingy,

but what makes me flutter badly was when he help tied my shoestring.

Tell me, how many guys will tie a shoestring for you?

and the weird part is I don't even know much about this guy.

but what I don't like about it was that,

I start to fall hard on him. Like real hard.

Like I-cant-stand-up-and-walk-back, kinda hard. 

It is still a mystery to me, what was he thinking back then?

Why me? Why sits beside me? Why me? Why?

but to tell u the truth boy, you're the cutest during that time.

like if I could keep u forever in my pocket, I would. 

Tak tipu, You're the best, You're the cutest.
You're the one that I love with all my heart.
hahahahahaha

To be continued in Part 2...

P/S: Untuk sambungan Part 2, kalau aku rajin aku sambung, 

kalau aku rindu aku sambung, kalau aku sedih aku sambung, 

kalau aku sayang aku sambung, kalau aku nak carik gaduh aku sambung. 

hahabye.

Apa Pewangi Kereta Pilihan Anda ?

Hai,

Harini aku nak cakap sikit pasal pewangi kereta.

since recently aku dah memiliki sebuah kereta,

walaupun tak layak nak mekap hebat cam orang lain,

tapi pewangi tetap tak boleh miss.

bagi aku, kalau kereta bau sedap nak naik pun rasa rela je

Korang tak rasa macam tu ke?

So dapatan untuk perfume hunting haritu adalah seperti berikut:

1. Glade 'I love you'

Bau dia macam manis2 lembut2 

yang biasanya perempuan mesti suka,

Pakai yang jenis camni memang bau dia kuat,
Tapi gaya macam cepat habis pulek. Bole la tahan 2 bulan.

2. Ambi Pur Lavender Vanilla and Comfort

Yang ni aku beli jenis spray sebab tak jumpa utk car.

Bau dia macam gula gula bubblegum manis gitu.

semua bertemakan manisan ni dah kenapa (-__-  ")

Tak tahu la nape pakai yang ni lekat dia kejap je kat fabric.
Takkan kena spray sampai habis baru tahan kot? K gurau.

3. Hanging Air Freshener

Aku tak ingat la dia brand apa. Cap ayam je kot.

Beli bau lemon citrus gitu nak selamat dari over pening,

Nak try konon power ke tak la air freshener murah ni kan

Verdict: Tak tahu la aku je atau benda ni yang
memang tahan untuk dua minggu je haha so sad

Last last aku dah malas nak pikir,

So lantak kau la nak ada bau ke takde bau ke dalam tu.

Nasib baik bau body kereta tu masih macam bau kedai.

Takdela aku berhuhuhu setiap kali naik budak Grey tu haha.

Aku serius malas nak pikir pasal pewangi kereta dah,

sampailah aku masuk kedai ni petang tadi.

Aku pasti semua perempuan suka kedai ni haha.

Dari dulu lagi aku suka gila bau kedai ni

Bau manis yang aku tak tahu nak describe camne

Aku pun tanya la budak sales kat situ, 

mana yang bau tahan lama untuk car perfume.

and they suggest me barisan fragrant oil yang mereka ada.

Lepas dah sakit hidong bau satu-satu,

akhirnya aku pun angkat la satu fragrance oil ni.

Teddy's Dream. Kau mimpi apa woi beruang?

Bau dia ni sebijik bau kedai lovely lace tu.

Manis, rasa cam nak hi-tea je dalam kedai tu haha

budak sales tu kata ni titik je kat bantal ke

bebola gantungan dalam kereta ke, dia tahan lama.

Dia kata la, bukan aku.

Aku baru nak try jauh mana tahan lama dia boleh pegi, 

Tiba tiba seseme pulok. Melepas hidong.

Harga dia RM18.00. 

Aku harap betul lah dia tahan lama k 

Kalau tak.... So sad...

So, apa pewangi kereta pilihan anda?

(^,^  )

Hi, 2015.

Its been a while bloggie,

The last entry here was on 2012

How time flies, seiring dengan skill mengarang aku yang dah ke laut

Nak main rhymes pun dah tak reti. So sad kau ni mi (-,- )"

Tujuan asal jenguk balik benda ni sebab nak carik gamba (ehem)

Tapi endup terbaca semua entry lalu bergelimat

Maka aku pun berhuhuhu di ceruk dinding sana.

Having my own self to read those entries makes me realize that, 

for some weird reason,

I've changed. 

(Like a lot )

Its even more fascinating that some of the things 

That I've been keeping as wishlist ever since 2008,

Had already been achieved by me as of today, in the year 2015.

(not all but boleh la)

This is my very own  #Achievementunlocked entry

to commemorate what has changed, what has not,

what I'd achieved and what I still need to work hard on it.
haha bebel apa lagi ni jemah zzz mohhh~

1. Personal Vehicle.

Dapat dah bro. But nothing close to what my heart desires.

We're together since July 2015.

Selepas berangan nak memiliki si dia since 2009 maybe?

lima tahun kau berangan untuk ni mi tskkk.

U ok what Mr Grey. Lebih dari ok.
U're still gonna be my little baby ♥

2. Notebook.

Nothing close to what i want too. 

Disebabkan kesempitan wang.

Even pakai Lumion pun boleh keluar skrin biru. So sad...

Maka janganlah ditanya tentang The Last of Us atau Harry Potter

Aku cuma mampu main Minecraft, Happy Wheels dengan Slenderman je dalam ni

T________T

Tapi kau tetap berjasa sepanjang 2 setengah tahun aku di degree (^^  ,)

3. Iphone.

Mungkin rezeki alam siber yang kian maju.

Tak susah pun nak memiliki benda ni sekarang.

Kerna aku bukan penggemar android
walau kau bagi aku Galaxy S6 sekalipun.
(kalau free boleh lah hihihihi err)

4. Fancy punk shoes

Suppose aku menginginkan doc mart baru,

tapi.. (malas nak cerita)

so endup having this baby right here,
cz dlm dua tahun lepas dia masih in.

sekarang ni guna bawak pegi site je.

Steady bro.

Aku dah malas nak kesah dia lace dan kena habuk dekat site.
Malas aku nak pikir, malas.

5. Gitar baru

Sebelum ni ada di entry ni,

aku becakap pasal this beauty, it was 2011.

and i manage to have it by 2014. 

tho the color's not the same nway.

cz too much pink kills ur soul (errrrr....)

Hitam tu elegant whattttt. Hahar

6. Travel around the world

Sejak jadi bangla bawahan ni, 

adalah duit sikit nak menyimpan dana utk travel around the world.

My first destination is Japan. 

I'm going with this group of solo travellers bergabung meletop

check them out cz mereka merealisasikan impian solo travellingku muahaha

Bucketlistabroad

on facebook and instagram

"Kenapa perlu bazir duit melancong?"

"It has always been my dream beb, dont ask me why."

Gittew kateko.

fuhhhhhhhhhh anak maaakkkk

7. Ke Harry Potter Theme Park Florida

Yang ni of course la tak berjaya lagi hahahaha!!

the only thing yang aku dapat so far is the original merchandise.

Jadilah beb. You wait Potter, you wait.

cz ima crazy ass Potterhead liddat muahaha

Apa yang aku belaja sejak dah dewasa ni,

U appreaciate every little things in ur life.

When I say little, it literally means little. Literally.

Tak semua yang kita nak boleh dapat,

contohnya macam kerja aku sekarang la,

belajar tinggi tinggi konon nak jadi arkitek,

terjadi bangla bawahan pula hahahaha *hambar

Bila go through entry lama ni rasa macam,

MashaAllah sis, kenapa kau boleh berbahasa alien dulu T__T

Aku nak mintak maaf kat mata sesape yg penah follow blog ni dulu,

I was so young, immature and stupid (sekarang takla bijak mana pun)

I may not gonna update this blog every so on and so forth,

disebabkan mak dah kerja dah sekarang kan haha

dulu jadi student boleh la tidur lambat bangun lambat.

Suprisingly this blog works as my own kinda diary too.

Its shocking that i couldn't even remember 

most of my crush that I mention in here.

not to mention the evidence of berbahasa urdu acah manja rempit omg.

thanks for dropping by and read this nonsensical blurbs,
no matter who u are.

bye now, see ya later.

Buah hati~ sobs.

rindu mama rindu abah. 

T_____T

Saya tetap terharu, walaupun tiada peneman duniawi di sisi. cewahhhh~

terima kasih mama, sebab melahirkan adik ke dunia. 

terima kasih abah, sebab ajar adik tentang hidup di dunia. 

terima kasih along, angah dan abang, sebab melayankan
kerenah adik sejak 22 tahun yang dulu sampai la sekarang. 

terima kasih kawan2 terapat, u know who u are, 

sebab terima saya seadanya. 

terima kasih adik2 studio artisthick, 

yang melayan kerenah kakak kurang matang ni setiap hari di studio. 

terima kasih Allah, sebab masih memberi peluang

tuk saya bernafas hingga ke hari ini. 

tenkiuuuuuuu semuaa. 

p/s: tolong jangan prank, aku tak suka. okbaiii~ 

Persediaan ke Ijazah Sarjana Muda

bunyi macam konfem lepas je diploma.

InsyAllah aku mesti lepas!

cukupla belajar di perantauan

aku dah tak sabar nak kawen ni. ehh? okbai.

antara persediaan yang aku kena buat 

tuk ready masuk degree ialah

personal vehicle.

kerana public transportation di shah alam sejak dua tiga tahun ni 

macam meminta makian dari aku.

nak ini tapii... tapi.. duit.. -___-"

notebook.

jangan ditanya kenapa.

sape berani amek aku jentikk sampai lebam.

iphone 4.

juga jangan ditanya kenapa.

weee boleh terus berangann.

makanan yang mencukupi.

bagi menjaga mood aku yang selalu tenggelam timbul

bila aku jiwa kacau aku makan. tak reti?

new doc marten's 

bagi memudahkan aku melakukan site visit secara lasak nanti

coliooooo~~~~

duit yang mencukupi.

kalau terlebih lagi bagus.

incik boifren.

peneman ups and down duniawi.

ehh? kenapa kua edward cullen pulak ni? -___-"

puan mama dan incik abah.

peneman dunia dan akhirat

pendengar rintihan dan amukan aku di shah alam nanti.

mama saya model pulasan. kau ada? okbaii

incik abah at the middle. payah pula nak carik gamba dia haii~

lastly, study hard.

tiada lagi repeat2. dengan adanya mama dan abah di sisi. keh3

ini kalau ye lah aku sambung.

kalau aku dapat keje masyuk pasni 

mmg tak la aku nak sambung lagi.

doakan kejayaan aku.

semoga 2012 tetap menjadi tahun yang baik bagi aku.

aminnnn~~

Rintangan memperolehi segulung diploma.

semalam baru lepas submit boards tuk project 2.

walaupun dah submit aku masih rasa tak sedap hati.

sampai sekarang aku masih tak senang duduk.

rasa macam nak nanges tapi air mata tak keluar.

tak dapat aku gambarkan perasaan aku.

apa yang aku rasa sebenarnya sekarang?

aku pun tak pasti.

aku takut aku tak lepas lagi weh.

aku tanak sumpah aku tanak. 

tapi.....

aku dok fikir juga kekadang. 

kenapa dulu ada je kawan2 aku yg tak try hard pun

tapi dapat je grad on time.

aku?

..........................

kalau ikutkan hati setan mau je aku merungut setiap masa.

tapi aku tau sume yg berlaku ada hikmah

cuma dapat nampak sekarang or nanti je.

aku bertuah di kelilingi kawan2 yg positif.

tanpa dorang mungkin aku dah angkat beg 

dan chow balik rumah sekarang.

aku terseksa weh diploma empat tahun.

tuhan je tau betapa seksanya hati dan perasaan aku

demi sugulung diploma aku sabar jugak sampai ke harini.

budak studio aku yg lain decide nak hibernate sampai ahad ni

tengok muvi, karok or mungkin
bercucuk tanam di halaman rumah (??)

kenapa sampai hari ahad? 

sebab isnin nak start project baru pula.

aku? aku decide nak menanges 

dan muhasabah diri sampai hari ahad ni.

jangan ingat aku amek satu subjek je aku free 

bleh goyang kaki goyang bontot bila lapang.

kalau korang fikir macam tu korang salah beb.

aku nampak hepy tak semestinya aku okay.

air yang tenang jangan disangka takde buaya

 okay apahal ko nak berperibahasa segala ni amy.

tabahkanlah hati aku Ya Allah, kuatkan la hatiku.

permudahkan lah urusan aku sepanjang semester ni.

semoga aku berjaya menggenggam diploma itu pada hujung tahun ni.

Amin..